Three years on....

I woke up in a foul mood. I have been so focused on planning out the day and I just wanted sleep. Yasemin felt it necessary to wake up 2 times before 5 and then after 5 to stay awake and make silly faces at me for 2 hours. I finally went back to sleep around 7 only to be woken up half an hour later by the harsh bedroom light as my husband shuffled around looking for socks and getting dressed. Bless his heart. He didn't deserve the sigh and grumbles I gave him as I pulled the comforter over my head. Then he leaned over and quietly asked me where the ATM card was. On the table, I snapped. He got his things together and went out to get me cash for the taxi. When he got back, I met him at the front window. He handed me the money and then said "Happy Anniversary, baby".

Dear God, I felt like an ass for the attitude I had shown him. I am always the one to remember as soon as I wake up what special day it is. How had I forgotten? Then he says to dress nice and we can go out to eat after he leaves work.

After he left, I thought back on our other 2 anniversaries. The first year I was in America and last year on this day, we were in the hospital. I was having a surgery to sew my cervix closed. It had been cut too short due to a surgery I had done back in 2003. The doctor was afraid I would lose the baby and I was already having bleeding and had been on bed rest earlier in the pregnancy. It was a scary time.

This year I had been hoping to find someone to take care of Yasemin for a few hours while we had a nice romantic dinner. You know the kind, where you get to eat together instead of one of us jumping up to walk her around. The trouble is that I don't have any family here and his family lives about an hour away. Our best friends moved to Switzerland a couple months back and there is no one else. Since she was born 6 months ago I have been without her once. Our friends got married in December when she was 5 weeks old and my husband's mom came and spent the night to look after her. We wanted to go out after the wedding but we were all too exhausted. Other than that she has been at my side.

Well, there is always next year. Happy Anniversary, my love.

Life Changing Meetings

Do you ever just wonder how you got to where you are in life? Growing up, I would never have thought that I would go from living in a city with about 10 thousand people to living in a city with over 15 million. I always wanted to travel the world and I knew that there was always someplace else out there for me. I went on a school trip to France and Switzerland back in 1995 but of course I wasn't alone. The sad thing is that even with those dreams of seeing the world I would never have done it alone if I hadn't have met my husband.

How we met is one of those strange twists of fate that changes your whole life. The night we met I grudgingly agreed to go to a local bar for my friend's husband's birthday. It was a bar I had frequented in college and it was a kinda loser-ish (is there a such word? If not, I just used poetic licence :) ). place even then but there weren't a whole lot of options. I really didn't want to go there at 23 and see the same old stuff I had seen at 18. After lots of begging I said I would go but...."Only for a little bit".

I had been through a few relationships and being a single mom I didn't want to go through another rocky one. I was quite happy just being a mom and working. So I told myself. My friends had been pushing me to start dating again but I had no real interest. I also told myself that no guy is going to want a single mom with that baggage and I wasn't going to take that chance with my heart or my son's. Anyway, on that night my friend decided she was going to help me "find a man" (her words). As the bud lights started going down I went along with her game. She would point out a guy and I would run down his list of problems. No, too short. No way, too young. Not even close! He has peach fuzz on his upper lip. One by one, they were all passed off. We wound our way through the crowd and went upstairs to see what was happening on the dance floor. As we came into the upstairs I saw him. It was strange. In the dark, smoky, black lit room I saw a guy standing by the bar. It was like I knew him. Like I had dreamed about him before. He was tall, had long hair pulled back in a ponytail, and was so handsome. I pulled her to me and said/shouted in her ear "Do you want to see my dream guy? That is him right there". I pointed in his direction. She urged me to go talk to him and I asked her if she had lost her mind. I was so self conscious just looking at him. No way I was going to talk to this guy. I had never in my life seen a guy like him. She was pushing me to talk to him and I (in ALL my VAST knowledge of dating...yeah right) told her that if he was interested he could come to me. That little speech has gotten me out of embarrassing myself MANY times and she seems to think it is the best dating advice.

We went back down and found our group and commenced with the bud lights. Lo and behold after a few minutes he came down! With my friend still pushing and the bud lights pulsing in my brain, I started my silent stalker routine. Everyone knows what I am talking about... the oops I just happened to be near him quite a few times. He went to the bar to get a beer and I was beside him getting a fresh one for myself. He went to the restroom...I was going in as he came out. As I came out of the ladies' I saw my friend talking to a girl we knew. As I got to my friend she had a huge smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. I knew she had been up to no good and I had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with me. Yep. The girl we knew was a friend of his. They were there for a friend's birthday, too. As soon as I was able to react to my friend's high school tactics of My friend thinks your friend is cute, he came over and started talking to me. We talked a while, traded phone numbers, and that was the end of it. On the way back home my friend was like an excited puppy... When are you gonna call him? When are you gonna call him? I gave my normal speech of .....

"If he is interested, he will call me".

He did....3 days later to ask me out for the next weekend. Afterwards, I found out he never noticed me in the bar. Damn, thought my silent stalking did it. Oh well!